Atomic Habit

    Before the pandemic, I felt like I was floating through life since I started working my first job, I was going through the routine of living, but not with any enthusiasm, or curiosity in my job. I did not actually get closer to the person that I want to be. It usually happens around the weekend, I was going to binge-watch a lot of movies or mingle with friends and party so much.

    For me, COVID-19 is a blessing in disguise. At the beginning of the pandemic, I struggled with depression while missing home in Malaysia. I adhered to the stay-at-home and social distancing orders. It was difficult for me to see family members and friends suffering from an infection from afar. On top of that, there was a continuous worry about my health as well as the health of those we cared about. Life was too short to just continue churning away.  I felt adrift in my work life and needed direction. Last year, I was reading an amazing book, named “Atomic Habits”, it changed me a lot.
    Exercising social distancing and functioning from home, some good things come out of the pandemic. Positive effects of it are seen in less traveling, reduced party, and no community actions. Now, I am bound to online chit-chat with foreign friends from around the world in my basis daily routine. I broke free of the bad habits of making parties with friends or binge-watching movies or TV series at home. I was trying to convince myself that massive success is only possible through massive action in any goal I am pursuing. It is the tiny improvements every day for a year, there are not even noticeable at first, that create incredible change after a year. Good habits compound for me in the form of things like knowledge, productivity, skills, and relationships. Success is the product of daily habits, not once-in-a-lifetime transformations. 
    Not only did the pandemic and the response efforts allow me time to rediscover my passions, but it also forced me to take time for myself, reset my goals, and reevaluate what was really important to me. In fact, I found myself rediscovering my passions over the past year, unrelated to what I did at work. My passion is mental health growing and helping myself to think more optimistically about my life through writing something about myself and reading a lot of books on bookshelves at my room. I made some big promises about what I am going to accomplish. I shared my bloggers with anyone I know or who will listen. I probably told over 20 people about it. I handed out my blogger link and asked for help if someone could help to correct the grammatical mistakes in my essays. I am not afraid to make mistakes, I give my word to myself that I will move from thinking into action, and I will get motivated. I take risks to learn and discover something else that does.

How scarcity mindset affected my life

    When I started studying abroad in Taiwan, I was so excited at the opportunity to find more joy in recognizing many foreigners from different countries. I failed to enter engineering courses in high school. I found the opportunity to enroll in the engineering course at Pre-University. In the beginning, I believed that I could live in my purpose, I could become a great nurse to help people in need. However, my mother insisted I take a medicine course to become a doctor and have a better salary in the future. I might feel that I know nothing about biology. It was impossible to implant all the methodology of biology in my mind for a short period of time. I was so afraid for my career if I was ineligible for an extension period in Taiwan. 

    That reminds me of the most crucial point of the scarcity mindset, when the future is unclear, fear of the unknown reminded me that I need more education, and experience, to truly live my purpose. I did not deserve to find happiness and meaning in my life if I had no better degree or certification. I wanted to take one more year to take the steps to live my purpose. Therefore, after a half year, I gave in the medical course and took an engineering course instead. During that year, I struggle a lot to take risks or try new things, which is scary for my brain. My brain reminded me of all the bad things that might happen if I took a single step outside my comfort zone. I would be left with nothing if I was not good enough. I was trying to memorize all the difficult words by writing down tips and tricks on the blackboard in an isolated classroom and speaking out loud before an exam. I might lose friends or classmates in the process because I knew that I might make other people uncomfortable.
    Finally, I took one more year to complete my engineering course. I felt fortunate that I was admitted to entering the department of material science engineering course in the best university in Taiwan.
    Living my purpose is hard work. It is not something that will happen overnight. It takes a lifetime of work and requires persistence. The mental model is a pivotal tool to help me to proceed with my thinking process and stay in gratitude, happy, and optimistic. The positive thinking might reinforce my thought that I can concentrate on achieving my goals.

Lupus

    Once upon a time…there was a girl who always had endless energy, she loved throwing parties, and usually brought people around her together. I met her in a dancing club between my second and third years in my previous company. She was my best friend in Alpha Networks.

    She had an enzyme in her muscles that controlled how to turn food into energy. She was passionate about cooking. She was open-minded enough to taste different cuisine. As she regarded cooking as an art, she mixed abundant colors with some raw ingredients. When she made scallion pancakes, birth cakes, biscuits, and unique cuisine, she brought smiles and happiness to everybody, she felt delighted and made her cooking skills grow automatically. I vividly remembered my first time participating in a weight loss challenge with our friends in a small group, she prepared a big batch of vegetable soup, and loads of veggies, naturally low in fat and calories for a week to win the competition. I definitely consume all of them for a whole week. Unfortunately, I had difficulty pooping for a week, I was probably constipated. I guessed that I rarely consumed mineral oil as lubricant laxatives but too much fiber in my intestine’s walls, hardly allowing stool to move through my colon and out of my body. I barely slimmed down, only losing up to 2kg in a month.
There was a sports day arranged by our company, and she informed me personally that she typical could not expose herself to the sun because she had been infected with lupus since she was a child. Her face would turn rash after excessed sun exposure. She noticed that lupus is a long-term autoimmune disease, more likely to have a shorter life expectancy. Living with lupus can be challenging and cause other problems. It was essential to enjoy her good quality of life with lupus, she did not blame any and continuously fought off viruses and bacteria.

    She was not lazy and was always an optimist girl. She always tried to visualize her goal. She frequently told me to go oversea to improve her English, and I took her to her words. A few years later, she went to Australia after I left her for a year. I acknowledge her back to Taiwan and tied a knot with our colleague. I wish she can live healthier and merrier. I miss her sometimes.

The loss of my uncle

    Yesterday evening, I received a message from my mother, the message recorded a voice from my mother’s youngest sister, she told us that her husband has passed away, she is typically arranging a funeral until her daughter returns home from oversea, it should be after two days of his death. She was deeply mourning her recent passing of him and she may not feel comfortable replying to any message from anyone. 

    A moment later, I surfed my Facebook page and was trying to find my aunt and uncle’s pages, I found that there was a picture captured on the mother’s day, my uncle was bumping into his old classmates, he never guessed to meet someone you know in a special day before kicking the bucket. I sent the picture to my family chat group, and I started suspiciously that he may suffer sudden unexpected death by loss of heart function, or sudden cardiac arrest. Life was throwing a curving ball to somebody,
    Since I was a teen, about ten years ago, my mother took us to their house for some specialty, they usually treated us to nice meals, especially Bak Kuh Teh, which is renowned in Sebang. They are successful real estate owners in selling ginger, earning a lot of money, and have already sent their children to study abroad. They are religious Christians and devoted a lot of their effort and time to join the group meeting.
    Last night, my mother was wondering how much is acceptable for Malaysian Chinese culture. I had no idea how much is suitable in Malaysia but I told her that I would give $3000,5000,7000,9000 which started in an odd number instead of an even number. Even a number is dedicated to weddings, the new year or some specialty in Taiwan. The culture shock in different countries may impress a bad image for somebody.
    Today morning, I sent a message to my aunt. “Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved husband. I am now far away from you and I will remain in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you take care of yourself and keep safe.” Offering condolences could be helpful to remind my aunt that she is not alone and others will miss her loved one as well.

Basic delamination failure introduction

    Encapsulation electronic device has been developed for over 50 years. Interfacial delamination remained unsolved. Due to the inherent CTE and geometrical discontinuities, the bi-material interfacial become vulnerable that dominates failure mechanisms in thermal-mechanical reliability system. The matching of the mechanical and thermal characteristics of the bi-material is the decisive factor if they could bond closely without any unoccupied. How a romantic story. As an old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together”. We really could find that the attitude similarity and interest proximity determined the level of interpersonal attraction, no matter whether the gender is the same or not. 

    If a BGA is found to be badly connected, many methods have been investigated in preparing hydrophilicity surfaces, such as chemical etching, thermal treatment, plasma treatment, and the introduction of various functional groups on the surface of materials.

What is the biggest challenge that you have faced?

    "Why do you want to turn the radio up to the maximum every early, are you gonna deafen us all? I don't care how blind or how deaf you are, but you are definitely almost going to die, you are the fucking selfish guy in my life, go to hell" my mother shouted at my father. My father was infuriated and then screamed at a higher volume:" You are the craziest woman in my life. You don't even care about my life or death, I better jump out of the window, and shut you down instantly". Their relationship life may seem like the end of the world when my father started becoming blind to lose his job. Sometimes he lost his dignity when my mother complained about his contribution to the family.

    This kind of conversation always happens and all of my siblings feel exhausted and do not bother to stop their fighting. The hardest challenge for me was how to convince them not to fight. It become worsen when I was trying to persuade them not to focus on their need and to listen to each other's requirements. I was feeling upset when they were fighting recklessly. The most intimidating moment was my father threw a knife on the dining table from the kitchen and asked my mother if she wanted to live or die together. They could fight relentlessly to make a splash in a house or everywhere. They are easy to be fussed in a subtle movement or an awkward habit. I had tried several methods to calm them down, but they were ignoring our inquiry. The same complaints were repeatedly buzzing in our ears never-ending. 

Should parents teach children about sex?

    In my opinion, I think it is not necessarily. I was sure that my parents were bad at explaining knowledge or education. If we relied on parents to teach children about this stuff, much more false or inaccurate information would be given. My parents were pondering to say something about how to have a newborn in a family, though they never blurted out any words about the erect penis, vagina, or masturbation. Especially in Asian countries, the parents would feel embarrassed or sinful when they talked about this topic.

    The newborn story may be begun in the bible: The God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man become a living soul. God then called the man Adam and later created Eve from Adam's rib...I still could not figure out what is going on with this newborn story? How in God's name had things gone so wrong? Nevertheless, my parents insisted that as we were Christian, we must restore virginity or sexual abstinence until marriage.

    When I was a teen, sometimes I sneaked out from my church service time in the early Sunday morning for the sake of being alone in my room. I told my parents that I went to church for service until noon. I knew my parents hardly returned home as they were basically sending the newspaper until noon. Not all sneaking out is for a bad reason. I was trying to turn on the TV and watched porn movies or sexual TV series at that time. My heart pounded extremely fast when I saw two young beauties kissing their heads, lips, collarbone, breast, waist, etc. Every sexy gesture makes me hot and drove me more curious about sex. That is because adrenaline rush. I knew nothing about sex but I still could learn something from it. Therefore I reckoned that sex education is not mandatory but still necessary in particular circumstances, such as sexual violence. I believe that kids could find the answers by themselves. 

    By the way, I certainly agree to explain it in a way based on science and facts, how the bodies change and why. It can also explain all the ways to avoid pregnancy if they want to engage in sex.

Should we give money to beggars?

    When I was a teenager, I used to take a train to my church by myself in KL, Malaysia. I often saw beggars with shabby and disheveled clothes sitting on the ground at the corner of the train station, stretching out their hands. Some of them seemed to be disabled, some of them carried kids or toddlers with some cardboard sign or bowls in front of them. I would feel sorrow when I saw such people and cannot help them as I had no financial ability to help them. My parents just paid me enough money for my meals and offering to the church.

    Some news reported that the beggars would used on drugs, alcohol, fraud, or most of them were just too lazy to devote their strength in labor force. It would be better not to donate your pennies in their pockets because we do not know if they are really beggars or homeless. My kind offer will contribute their life to be more serious laziness than ever, or more often an addiction to cocaine or heroin, which can have fatal consequences. To this respond, I prefer to teach a person to fish than giving a fish.

    Nevertheless, the answer is subjective and based on my personal situation. However, acting on improving the lives of others is a great way to reinforce our sense of obligation and responsibility to our own ethical beliefs. When I was studying in high school, there was a student lost his parent accidentally and our teacher asked the classmates to help him. On that day, my mother gave me about RM50, which is far more than other classmates’ donation. I felt proud to expose the money on my teacher’s desk and showed it in front of my classmates. My teacher thanked me and praised about my generosity. With this moment, it inspired me to share what I have with a greater appreciation. I start nurturing my innate generosity and could even bring back a charity organization. Donating to charity organization is a major mood-booster. It will make me happier and more fulfilled. As an old saying says, it is far better to give than to receive.

Religious belief vs Reality?

    Since I was baptized as a Christian when I was 16 years old, I decided to dedicate all my time and effort to love my God, Jesus, everyone around me. After several devotion years in Youth Service in KL, I was obligated to leave journal editing services in church as I decided to study abroad in Taiwan after graduating from high school in Malaysia.

    Even though I leave the church services, I still regularly joined the church services every weekend in my pre-university courses until my graduation in Linkou District. One the pastors was quoted as saying, “If everyone prays for him, God will listen.”However, I shouted several times about my loneliness and helpless, he still ignored my request. I met some church member still suffered similar issues as mine. I had been struggling my difficult time to make my end meets. I wondered if God has been listening to my sobbing? I decided to tackle my problems by myself and then took several part times jobs to cover my school fees and living expenses. Eventually, I did not feel guilty if I have not attended the church services anymore since from my sophomore in NTU.

    I started thinking about why I need to offer my income portion to the church? Most of the church members are wealthier than me, especially every pastor in general are about has higher paid allowances than my parents’ salaries. Their children had the better living environments and education background than mine. Why did they spend spent a chunk on missions instead of offering some necessity goods to the poverty? And a church is large enough but still keep asking church members to donate more money for renovation. Why does God need my money, for what? I still do not understand why only the believers could go to Heaven instead of everybody.

    After leaving a church several years, I began to think of course I could be a Christian without actually visiting church. I still could give a penny or food to the poor, hungry, homeless, sick, elderly and thousands of other charitable activities.

    Finally, I realized that the religious traditions can be toxic when they place allegiance to beliefs above individual spiritual experience.

Did you have any imaginary friend as a kid?

    I did have some imaginary friends when I was studying in SJK elementary school in Ampang, Selangor, Malaysia.

    In 1989, there was a renowned film “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” has had a significant effect for every kid on that generation. It turns out, I imagined that some of my friends that there are seven dwarfs were living in the small holes of my school back yards. I believed this fairy tale story. Perhaps I wanted to be a pretty “Snow White” in my childhood.

    Every noon in my elementary school, after I had finished my lunch time, I used to have some fun on the yards behind a small classroom on the sloped hills. There were too many small holes in yards. Sometimes I took the napping time advantages and finding some woods or stick in front of the yards.  After then, I used some long stick to find something or were trying to dig some deeper holes with the harder stick. I was shouting recklessly in the holes to get the dwarfs heard.  I desperately wanted to hear if some of the dwarfs responded to my yelling.

    The back yards faced opposite to the outside of the schools with the fence, every time I walked back to my home, I was standing still to the yards, and I hope I could see if anything would be escaped from the holes. After one or two months, the drive of my curiosity was lesser when a stray cat gave a birth to 5 newborn kitties beside my home. I love teasing them with noisy backgrounds when they were hiding in a wood pallet stocked in my neighbor’s house.

The cost of Ramadan need to be counted

    All religious have fasting discipline, but only Muslims is more demanding religion, requiring a considerable amount of time and effort to worship “Allah.” Fasting still has a negative effect on health, but still some Muslims are religiously believed that fasting can cure cancer or disease. During the lunar month of Ramadan, that is 30 days, all the believers are obligatory to fulfil duties of worship, including no food, no drink, abstaining from smoking or sexual activity. I have been informed that fasting for Muslims is intended for spiritual reasons instead of healthy advantages. It reminds us the difficult position of poverty, understand the starving and considered less advantaged.

    Even though this rule has exceptions for pregnant women, women who are nursing, the sick, the elderly and young children, there are still has higher exposure risk of health problem such as coronary heart disease, dehydration, headaches, dizziness, nausea. Many people find the challenge of going all day with no food or water. They will simply shift their eating cycle and operating hours from day time to all the night. However, consuming a chunk of meal before you sleep is not good for your metabolism or body.

    In the Muslim world, the working day is reduced on average by two hours. It is very usual that the productivity declines as the physical strain of fasting and the disruption to the flow of organizations. It is reasonable that it has negative effect on output growth. Unfortunately, most of the international Muslim organizations will take it granting because of its sense nature.

For my opinion, this restricted rule has more flaws or disadvantages.